Day 45 - #58

"When the government is dull and sleepy,
people are wholesome and good.
When the government is sharp and exacting,
people are cunning and mean.

Good rests on bad.
Bad hides within good.
Who knows where the turning point is?

Whether government or person,
if you aren't tranquil and honest,
the normal flips to the abnormal,
the auspicious reverts to the bizarre,
and your bewilderment lasts for a long time.

Therefore the sage does what is right
without acting righteous,
points without piercing,
straightens without straining,
enlightens without dazzling."

I've often wondered how to do the right thing with true humility. I wonder if it has to do with the assumption--one way or the other--that one will be rewarded for having done the right thing. That the right thing often seems distasteful or difficult--in a worldly context--would seem to lead one to say, "Well, virtue is its own reward."

But is it? If I do the right thing for the satisfaction of having done it, then what kind of humility is that? If I do the right thing for the satisfaction of others--I mean as my gift to them--is that not truer? But then how much it hurts when one's gift seems unwanted. Therein lies the distinction between humility and humiliation. And what good is the latter, turning pain and shame into degradation of the worst kind?

Perhaps the problem is that what I want to give has not been mine to give all along. But how can I be wrong about what I feel so strongly inside me, after, and, it seems, almost in spite of, everything?

This is why I wait. This is why I hope. This is why I continue to strive to do the right thing, even when I'm not sure how I can do it, or for whom.