Day 43 - #67

"Everyone under heaven says that my Tao
is great, but inconceivable.
It is its very greatness that makes
it inconceivable!
If it could be conceived of,
how small it would be!

I have three treasures to hold and protect:
The first is motherly love.
The second is economy.
The third is daring not to be first in the world.

With motherly love one can be courageous.
With economy one can be expansive.
With humility one can lead.

To be courageous without motherly love,
To be expansive without practicing economy,
To go to the front without humility--
this is courting death.

Venture with love and you win the battle.
Defend with love and you are invulnerable.
Heaven's secret is motherly love."

To know this secret, yet to be trapped outside of it, is the greatest pain and torture my soul ever has known. I pray only not to stay trapped outside of it forever.

The hope of finding my way out of the trap and into such love has been almost enough to sustain me. At times I almost can see my way out and I ask myself, "What more is needed? What more can I even hope to deserve?"

Why am I trapped here? When will I be free?

I pray and pray. Will that ever be enough?