"If people don't love life,
they won't fear death,
and threatening them with it won't work.
If people have lives worth living,
then the threat of death is meaningful,
and they'll do what it right to avoid it.
But killing itself should be the province of the
great executioner alone.
Trying to take his place and kill
is like cutting wood in the place
of the master carpenter:
The odds are you'll hurt your own hand."
Trying to deny this desire I have is killing me. Trying to grieve it is only causing me greater envy and despair. I have to trust that God wants more for me than this. I've tried so hard to let Him choose, and I only want to let Him keep doing that. By His Word we are to be open to life, but how difficult it is to understand all of what that means! I only can make an effort as life unfolds each moment. And I have to trust that each moment is new, and refreshing. Each new moment restores me to Him in His love. I have to believe He wants to give me life.
I once wrote, "Dear life, dear sweet life, at least once let me give the gift of you."
I still want three kids. I know now I will be very lucky--blessed, I suppose I ought to say--if I get to have even one. I wouldn't let myself dream of it for so long. Now I'm almost afraid to.
It's a hope too great to internalize; I only can share it with the one I love. The best I can do is face my fears, and I will do no less.
they won't fear death,
and threatening them with it won't work.
If people have lives worth living,
then the threat of death is meaningful,
and they'll do what it right to avoid it.
But killing itself should be the province of the
great executioner alone.
Trying to take his place and kill
is like cutting wood in the place
of the master carpenter:
The odds are you'll hurt your own hand."
Trying to deny this desire I have is killing me. Trying to grieve it is only causing me greater envy and despair. I have to trust that God wants more for me than this. I've tried so hard to let Him choose, and I only want to let Him keep doing that. By His Word we are to be open to life, but how difficult it is to understand all of what that means! I only can make an effort as life unfolds each moment. And I have to trust that each moment is new, and refreshing. Each new moment restores me to Him in His love. I have to believe He wants to give me life.
I once wrote, "Dear life, dear sweet life, at least once let me give the gift of you."
I still want three kids. I know now I will be very lucky--blessed, I suppose I ought to say--if I get to have even one. I wouldn't let myself dream of it for so long. Now I'm almost afraid to.
It's a hope too great to internalize; I only can share it with the one I love. The best I can do is face my fears, and I will do no less.
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