"In many ways the good parent
must be like the Tao.
But not in ways that you might think.
The Tao loves all of creation,
but does not seek to control.
The Tao nourishes all life everywhere,
but does not judge that life.
The Tao cherishes every person,
but does not grasp or cling.
Can you love without control?
Can you nourish without judgement?
Can you cherish without grasping?
Of course you can,
for the Tao flows through you.
Despite what you may have heard,
God does not
control,
judge,
or grasp.
All of your 'God' words
will not teach your children as much
as will your nurture,
and your love,
and your cherishing."
One thing I have heard over and over is that consistency is the key to good parenting. I have never been a slave to routine, and while I don't necessarily struggle to follow a schedule or structure, it's never been fun or particularly edifying for me to set my own. Fortunately, I've married someone who is very much the opposite, so I am hopeful that between the two of us we will be able to create a structure and set a schedule that works for our family.
Another area in which I struggle, mostly because our daughter is still so little, is with notions of discipline, or what I'm starting to think of as our own, ongoing game of Truth or Consequences. I'm learning that--at least at this stage--the main purpose of discipline is to set and enforce boundaries, so that our family can be and feel confident and secure in our interpersonal interactions with each other and the world. When following through on the enforcement results in something that makes my daughter upset or uncomfortable, it's devastating for me. But I need to control myself, so I follow through. I need to model self-control so my daughter will gain a sense of control over herself and her place in the world.
must be like the Tao.
But not in ways that you might think.
The Tao loves all of creation,
but does not seek to control.
The Tao nourishes all life everywhere,
but does not judge that life.
The Tao cherishes every person,
but does not grasp or cling.
Can you love without control?
Can you nourish without judgement?
Can you cherish without grasping?
Of course you can,
for the Tao flows through you.
Despite what you may have heard,
God does not
control,
judge,
or grasp.
All of your 'God' words
will not teach your children as much
as will your nurture,
and your love,
and your cherishing."
One thing I have heard over and over is that consistency is the key to good parenting. I have never been a slave to routine, and while I don't necessarily struggle to follow a schedule or structure, it's never been fun or particularly edifying for me to set my own. Fortunately, I've married someone who is very much the opposite, so I am hopeful that between the two of us we will be able to create a structure and set a schedule that works for our family.
Another area in which I struggle, mostly because our daughter is still so little, is with notions of discipline, or what I'm starting to think of as our own, ongoing game of Truth or Consequences. I'm learning that--at least at this stage--the main purpose of discipline is to set and enforce boundaries, so that our family can be and feel confident and secure in our interpersonal interactions with each other and the world. When following through on the enforcement results in something that makes my daughter upset or uncomfortable, it's devastating for me. But I need to control myself, so I follow through. I need to model self-control so my daughter will gain a sense of control over herself and her place in the world.
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