"If you push your children,
they will lose their balance.
If you are always running them here and there,
they will get nowhere.
If you put them in the spotlight,
they will be unable to see their own light.
If you seek to impose upon them
your own ideas of who they should be,
they will become nothing.
If you want them to thrive,
do what you can for their safety,
then let go.
Do you have agendas for your children
that are more important than the children
themselves?
Lost in the shuffle of uniforms,
practices,
games,
recitals,
and performances
can be the creative and joyful soul of your child.
Watch and listen carefully.
Do they have time to daydream?
From their dreams will emerge
the practices and activities
that will make self-discipline
as natural as breathing.
Encourage these."
When I was in college I attended a talk by the Catholic apologist Tim Staples. His talk at Cal State Long Beach, where I was visiting, centered on romantic relationships and marriage--always a popular topic among Catholic students! Anyway, one particular thing from that talk has always stood out to me. He spoke about the need for spouses to approach each other as they would God, recognizing God in the other person and keeping their loved one's best interest at heart, effectively telling them, "Your will be done!" To which the only appropriate response of the other spouse is, "No, honey, your will be done!" And on and on.
It was a funny illustration but also effective in showing me the extent to which it's possible to build trust--always a process--with another person, and have confidence not only in their discernment and decision-making ability but also in their love and care for me. Now that my husband and I have been charged with loving and caring for our daughter, we want to build this kind of trust with her, and instill this kind of confidence. We want to guide her so she will learn self-control and humility.
they will lose their balance.
If you are always running them here and there,
they will get nowhere.
If you put them in the spotlight,
they will be unable to see their own light.
If you seek to impose upon them
your own ideas of who they should be,
they will become nothing.
If you want them to thrive,
do what you can for their safety,
then let go.
Do you have agendas for your children
that are more important than the children
themselves?
Lost in the shuffle of uniforms,
practices,
games,
recitals,
and performances
can be the creative and joyful soul of your child.
Watch and listen carefully.
Do they have time to daydream?
From their dreams will emerge
the practices and activities
that will make self-discipline
as natural as breathing.
Encourage these."
When I was in college I attended a talk by the Catholic apologist Tim Staples. His talk at Cal State Long Beach, where I was visiting, centered on romantic relationships and marriage--always a popular topic among Catholic students! Anyway, one particular thing from that talk has always stood out to me. He spoke about the need for spouses to approach each other as they would God, recognizing God in the other person and keeping their loved one's best interest at heart, effectively telling them, "Your will be done!" To which the only appropriate response of the other spouse is, "No, honey, your will be done!" And on and on.
It was a funny illustration but also effective in showing me the extent to which it's possible to build trust--always a process--with another person, and have confidence not only in their discernment and decision-making ability but also in their love and care for me. Now that my husband and I have been charged with loving and caring for our daughter, we want to build this kind of trust with her, and instill this kind of confidence. We want to guide her so she will learn self-control and humility.
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