"Beware of teaching your children
to climb the ladder of success.
Ladders lead down
as well as up.
If you overly protect your children
they will fear failure
and avoid pain.
But failure and pain
are twin teachers
of important lessons.
Unless your children fully experience both
how will they know
they have nothing to fear?
Your children do not learn from their successes.
They learn from their failures.
They must have complete permission to try
and fail,
and discover that they are still OK.
What has your child failed at recently?
How did they react?
How did that make you feel?
How can you each learn from this?"
My daughter talks to me all the time, but I understand only a little of what she says. She stands and steps frequently, is just starting to cruise, but falls as often as anything. None of this is failure; it's all growth. I'd like to help her maintain this precedent, so that she is free to delight in her own learning. It's something I never learned to do as a child, but it's interesting to have a child and to be part of a loving family at a point in my life when I seem otherwise to have failed so completely at making the kind of life and career I had envisioned for myself. I'm grateful that all the failure and pain have taught me how to let go. It's the one thing I'm unafraid to do.
to climb the ladder of success.
Ladders lead down
as well as up.
If you overly protect your children
they will fear failure
and avoid pain.
But failure and pain
are twin teachers
of important lessons.
Unless your children fully experience both
how will they know
they have nothing to fear?
Your children do not learn from their successes.
They learn from their failures.
They must have complete permission to try
and fail,
and discover that they are still OK.
What has your child failed at recently?
How did they react?
How did that make you feel?
How can you each learn from this?"
My daughter talks to me all the time, but I understand only a little of what she says. She stands and steps frequently, is just starting to cruise, but falls as often as anything. None of this is failure; it's all growth. I'd like to help her maintain this precedent, so that she is free to delight in her own learning. It's something I never learned to do as a child, but it's interesting to have a child and to be part of a loving family at a point in my life when I seem otherwise to have failed so completely at making the kind of life and career I had envisioned for myself. I'm grateful that all the failure and pain have taught me how to let go. It's the one thing I'm unafraid to do.
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