"Rules do not give life.
The Tao gives life.
And the Tao is seen in butterflies
and in galaxies.
If children were trusted to discover God
in the center of their own hearts
the world would be at peace.
But we have made systems of rules
and institutions of control.
Accept this as the way things are
but always recognize the limitations of rules,
and the dangers of institutions.
Rules can guide a child but cannot define that
child.
Institutions can nurture a child
but cannot bring that child to maturity.
For a short while,
when your children are young,
you may be able to coerce good behavior.
But goodness of the heart
can never be coerced.
It can only be encouraged
or discouraged.
Consider your family's rules,
spoken and unspoken.
Who made them?
Who benefits from them, and how?
Do they encourage
or discourage your children?"
As parents I hope my husband and I can make and enforce only the rules we need. By this I mean not just ones that may be "typical" of families or childhoods, but ones that will suit and guide the growth and temperaments of our children. The rules we make should support them and allow them to develop an intuitive understanding of their own safety, their autonomy, and their privacy--these fundamental entitlements every person has. May the rules we enforce reinforce the lesson that all people are entitled to these, one neither more nor less than another, anywhere.
The Tao gives life.
And the Tao is seen in butterflies
and in galaxies.
If children were trusted to discover God
in the center of their own hearts
the world would be at peace.
But we have made systems of rules
and institutions of control.
Accept this as the way things are
but always recognize the limitations of rules,
and the dangers of institutions.
Rules can guide a child but cannot define that
child.
Institutions can nurture a child
but cannot bring that child to maturity.
For a short while,
when your children are young,
you may be able to coerce good behavior.
But goodness of the heart
can never be coerced.
It can only be encouraged
or discouraged.
Consider your family's rules,
spoken and unspoken.
Who made them?
Who benefits from them, and how?
Do they encourage
or discourage your children?"
As parents I hope my husband and I can make and enforce only the rules we need. By this I mean not just ones that may be "typical" of families or childhoods, but ones that will suit and guide the growth and temperaments of our children. The rules we make should support them and allow them to develop an intuitive understanding of their own safety, their autonomy, and their privacy--these fundamental entitlements every person has. May the rules we enforce reinforce the lesson that all people are entitled to these, one neither more nor less than another, anywhere.
No comments:
Post a Comment