22. Your Greatest Legacy

"If you want your children to succeed,
show them how to fail.
If you want them to be happy,
show them how to be sad.
If you want them to be healthy,
show them how to be sick.
If you want them to have much,
show them how to enjoy little.
Parents who hide failure, deny loss,
and berate themselves for weakness,
have nothing to teach their children.
But parents who reveal themselves,
in all their humanness,
become heroes.
For children look to these parents
and learn to love themselves.

Parenting need not be a burden,
one more thing you have to do
and don't do well enough.
Instead consider your failures,
your sorrows,
your illnesses,
and your difficulties
as your primary teaching opportunities."

I have a favorite prayer that goes, "...grant us patience with all the trials of this life..." and have learned that indeed, this life is nothing more than a series of opportunities to rise to the occasion. Often the occasion doesn't look how I think it will, and the rising is more of an ascent--rising to the occasion takes learning and effort. Many occasions are created by mistakes, which themselves are occasions for learning. I have learned not to fear these, but rather to hone my skills to deal with them. I worry often that I have nothing to teach my daughter, but I realize now, instead, that I can give her a powerful example to follow if I remain committed to a path of integrity.