58. You Can Only Demonstrate

"If you carry great expectations
for your children,
they will carry great burdens.
If you try to make them good,
you will create instead their vices.

Let your teaching be subtle.
Let your strength reside
in your flexibility.
Let your virtues be natural
and not affected.

If your children are treated
with modesty,
grace,
forgiveness,
and joy,
what are they likely to learn?

There is nothing more important
than the integrity of your life.
You cannot teach,
impose,
control,
coerce,
or force
any virtue.
You can only demonstrate.
Put your best effort forth
on your own actions,
not those of your children."

With my guidance, my daughter will form her own convictions. In order for her to be herself, I can only show her how I've become me. I want to share my heart and my experiences, not mere ideas or ideals. I want my daughter to know not only that she has gifts, but also, and most importantly, that she is a gift.