39. Are You in the Way?

"Wise parents let things unfold
with as little interference as possible.
They remain out of the way,
not calling attention to themselves.
Their children discover
the natural harmony of things,
and work out their conflicts
in ways that establish true peace.

When parents interfere,
and constantly meddle in their children's lives,
the natural order is forgotten.
Conflicts are escalated,
learning is curtailed,
and confusion reigns.

There are certainly times when we should guide.
We naturally want to protect our children,
and teach them what we have learned.
But it is best when we let that guidance
be as unobtrusive,
and gentle as possible.
Forcing lessons on our children
may get the immediate results we want.
But our children may be left without discernment,
unable to build internal strength of character.
What are your children in the midst of learning
now?
Are you in the way?"

I sometimes feel I have spent my entire life getting out of the way--out of everyone else's way, and then out of my own way. Now, especially, having become a disabled parent to an apparently non-disabled child, it seems my job is to get out of her way, too. I know I have struggled with things that she may not, so I might be able to offer her some uncommon wisdom. At the same time, I know that the world is in flux in a way that it hasn't quite been in over a hundred years--so the world I've brought her into holds struggles to come that I cannot imagine. Through our relationship we'll be equipped to face them. It's the only way forward.