"The martial master understands
how to yield and triumph.
When his opponent's blow arrives,
he is not there.
He moves,
yet maintains position,
bends,
but stays balanced.
As a parent you must do the same.
When your children oppose you,
do not meet their opposition with force.
Bend and they will topple.
You will win your point
without harming them.
Thus in yielding,
you will truly triumph.
I wish all parents could know
the art of T'ai Chi Ch'uan.
In this graceful martial art,
balance, softness,
flexibility, and grace
are the means by which
the goal is always reached.
Remember that this does not imply
your children always get their way.
Quite the opposite.
You give them unwavering guidance,
but without violence, tension and grief.
It is a difficult practice,
but full of great reward."
In life I have hardly ever "gotten my way." But the closest I have ever come to what I suppose I could call success is by getting out of my own way. I have learned to do this by yielding to my circumstances, rather than trying to fight them. This does not mean that I have had to give in or sacrifice my integrity or principles. Rather, it is by being flexible in my response to my circumstances that I have had the greatest opportunity to apply my principles and bring my integrity to bear on various situations. I try to model the same for my daughter by understanding that it's not my way, but the Way, that I aim to show her. If I keep my mind on this, balance, softness, flexibility, and grace will be with me.
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