66. Lead By Example

 "If you want your children follow

along a certain path,

you must lead the way the ocean

leads a river home,

by remaining below it.

If you manipulate, coerce,

and bully your children,

you will have no power at all.

If you lead with humility, gentleness,

and by example,

you will need no power at all.

Power over your children

is the great illusion.

By the time they are six years old,

they will do what they want.

You can bully them

so that they think they want

what you want.

Is that what you want?"

As an ESL teacher I learned, "Show, don't tell." Now I am learning it is the same with my babies. If I model behavior, they will be free to choose to follow. Even while my daughter is still so young, I am finding ways to give her opportunities to do the right--or safe, or constructive--thing. I am trying to teach her the vocabulary she will need in order to understand why something isn't a good idea. I may tell her knives are sharp, the stove is hot, or the trash is dirty, but I do my best to show her what to do about it all. If I can help her take responsibility, then she won't need my power because she will have her own.