67. Compassion, Patience, and Simplicity

 "There are only three qualities

you must teach your children.

Compassion, patience, and simplicity.

Some would say this is absurd.

They would teach instead,

ambition, drive, and consumption,

and say it is the way of success.

But if they learn patience,

they see the world as it truly is.

If they learn simplicity,

they see themselves as they truly are.

And if they learn compassion,

they heal themselves 

and the world.

Following the Tao as a parent

will often seem opposed

to conventional parenting wisdom.

The confusion lies in ourselves as parents.

We don't know what we truly want,

or who we truly are.

Compassion, patience, and simplicity

cannot be taught

until they are experienced.

And when we experience them,

we lose the need to teach them.

We live them instead.

And then our children learn."

I tell myself over and over that my daughter will learn the most from how I treat her, and how I treat myself. Even before she had arrived, since my children were and have been so longed for, I spent a lot of time working hard to get to the core of who I am, so that I could learn to treat myself well. The entire process has taught me patience; while I have had to put effort into self-compassion, the focus on my authentic self has made the striving for simplicity almost effortless. For the first time in many years my purpose is clear and I trust myself. While none of this is easy to maintain, I embrace the difficulty. I understand now it's what I was made for.