63. Face Your Problems

 "Face your problems

with your children

while the problems

are still small.

If you give your full attention, 

without resentment,

the problems will become

no problem.

A problem is not an interruption

to a serene and happy life.

A problem is an ordinary part

of such a life.

Effort is not required.

If you pay calm attention,

solutions appear naturally.

For years I was afraid

of my children's problems.

I had enough of my own.

I tried to solve their problems

by decree and pronouncement from on high.

So their problems grew and grew.

I was not present to myself.

How could I be present to them?

As I have grown older,

problems are no longer problems,

just life.

They needn't separate us

from our children.

Don't be afraid."

In July my family and I moved out of an emotionally and financially abusive living situation. In June I had found out that I'm pregnant again, but by August I--already a veteran of two miscarriages--was experiencing bleeding which made me think I was losing this baby, too. Later that month, we discovered a rat infestation in our new place, and we moved to a local motel for three weeks. Since moving back into our apartment in mid-September we have struggled with a broken microwave and refrigerator, a leaky bathtub, a faulty toilet, and just today we've discovered another leak, this time under our kitchen sink. Everything, one right after another thing, has put my husband and me to the test--individually and in our marriage. Our work and other commitments have been imperiled if not outright derailed by these ongoing distractions, disruptions, and distresses. But ironically, were it not for the pandemic continuing to ravage the outside world, we would not be home and as present to our daughter, whose own daily discoveries, developments, and delights encourage and delight us in turn. She shows us time after time that what we consider problems are in fact opportunities for growth and learning. As I see her confront the mysteries and wonder of her newly unfolding life, I am learning that my struggle becomes my strength, and my strength becomes my unwavering joy.