61. Self-Acceptance

 "How do children learn

to correct their mistakes?

By watching how you correct yours.

How do children learn

to overcome their failures?

By watching how you overcome yours.

How do children learn

to treat themselves with forgiveness?

By watching you forgive yourself.

Therefore your mistakes,

and your failures 

are blessings,

opportunities for the best

in parenting.

And those who point out your mistakes

are not your enemies,

but the most valuable of friends."

Your children will surely notice

the way you handle criticism.

If you get defensive

and launch a counterattack,

they will learn to cover up

and deny their own faults.

Is there something you're covering up now,

with either depression,

self-punishment,

or hostility?

Lighten up.

Accept and forgive yourself

and your children will be blessed."

As I have discussed many times before in this blog, self-acceptance has been the hardest lesson and principle for me to learn and abide by. I was taught to punish myself for my mistakes, and that because I had made them I didn't deserve good things. I was also taught that acceptance meant approval, which, throughout my life, has caused me to seek out and stay (for far too long) in situations that are unhealthy, or where I have only been being used. As I learn to grow beyond these, I see and accept the parts of myself that have continued to offer my best, despite all of my struggles. I celebrate my strengths and the insights my struggles have brought me. I know now that I can use these to model self-acceptance for my daughter.