"Before your children learn to win or lose,
they play at games for fun.
But then they come to believe
that they must win
at games,
at business,
and at war.
They even learn to win or lose
at love.
But the Tao teaches
that games are for fun,
that business is for the common good,
that no one wins at war,
and that love endures for all.
Do you play your games for fun?
Do you work for the common good?
Do you divide the world into friends
and enemies?
Do you love selectively?
Can you really 'lose' at love?
Examine all of these with honesty.
The answers will reveal
what your children are truly learning."
For almost two years I lived with someone who had told me she didn't love people unconditionally. At the time I thought it wouldn't matter, because I loved her unconditionally and was committed to making the arrangement work for everyone involved. I have since learned ever so slowly and painfully that unconditional love can never be one-sided. It must be fully and consistently reciprocal. It's in the reciprocity that any conditions are met and exceeded. I beat myself up that I should have realized this already; I could have saved my family and myself a lot of heartache and potential danger (which isn't yet completely past.) Right now I'm grateful to know I still have a lot to learn about the true nature of unconditional love. It lets me know my work is far from over, and that brings me joy.
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