"You do not have to make your children
into wonderful people.
You only have to remind them
that they are wonderful people.
If you do this consistently
from the day they are born
they will believe it easily.
You cannot force your will
upon other human beings.
You cannot hurry children
along the road to maturity.
And the only step necessary
on their long journey of life,
is the next small one.
I designed and printed a bumper sticker
when my son was a teenager.
It said,
'My child is an ordinary student,
and a wonderful person.'
My son loved it.
Both of my children are,
always have been,
and always will be,
wonderful people.
The same is true of your children.
No matter what."
One time when I was in confession, the priest referred to me as "your good self,"--an odd thing to hear upon confessing one's sins. It planted an important seed, though, of beginning to see myself as inherently good. As I reflect on it now, it reminds me of the time I told my mother I had never felt like a gift from God in anyone's life until I met my husband. When I confided this to her, she recoiled as if I had slapped her. In that moment I vowed I would not repeat her mistake with my own children. They will know they are good simply because they exist. While of course I pray that this knowledge will inspire them to choose to do good, I hope to also impress upon them that their goodness is not limited simply because their choices might be. I will help them do the best they can with what they have, every moment.
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