Day 33 - #15

"A sage is subtle, intuitive,
penetrating, profound.
His depths are mysterious and unfathomable.
The best one can do is describe his appearance:

The sage is as alert as a person crossing
a winter stream;
as circumspect as a person with neighbors
on all four sides;
as respectful as a thoughtful guest;
as yielding as melting ice;
as simple as uncarved wood;
as open as a valley;
as chaotic as a muddy torrent.

Why 'chaotic as a muddy torrent'?
Because clarity is learned by being
patient in the presence of chaos.
Tolerating disarray, remaining at rest,
gradually one learns to allow muddy water
to settle and proper responses to
reveal themselves.

Those who aspire to Tao don't long
for fulfillment.
They selflessly allow the Tao to
use and deplete them;
They calmly allow the Tao to
renew and complete them."

I have learned my patience. My problem is that in the midst of the muddy torrent, I still fight. I panic through the fire; I panic through the storm. In my fear not to hear I lose the still, small voice.

The quiet still seems too good to be true. Instead of inviting renewal, I fight the process leading to it. I fight, I fight, and I am the only one who dies.

I hope--that phantom!--I still hope it's not too late to live again. How can I live if I continue to fight and die?