"Some days, you and I go mad.
Our bellies get stuffed full,
Hearts break, minds snap.
We can't go on the old way so
We change. Our lives pivot,
Forming a mysterious geometry."
A friend wrote in her Facebook status today, "If I were to die tomorrow, I would die knowing I had loved fully." I don't know if I could say the same. I know I said something similar, but opposite, to my husband not long after we had met, once we had declared our love for each other: "If I had to leave this world tomorrow, I would leave knowing that I was loved." At that moment, that was enough. Yet now, not being able to fulfill my friend's statement is the closest I feel I will ever come to being able to express how not having children (yet) makes me feel. To live a life empty of this love is a tragedy for me. As I continue to wait, I never know whether to grow bolder or more humble about asking for my great commission. I am ready anytime for the change it will bring.
Our bellies get stuffed full,
Hearts break, minds snap.
We can't go on the old way so
We change. Our lives pivot,
Forming a mysterious geometry."
A friend wrote in her Facebook status today, "If I were to die tomorrow, I would die knowing I had loved fully." I don't know if I could say the same. I know I said something similar, but opposite, to my husband not long after we had met, once we had declared our love for each other: "If I had to leave this world tomorrow, I would leave knowing that I was loved." At that moment, that was enough. Yet now, not being able to fulfill my friend's statement is the closest I feel I will ever come to being able to express how not having children (yet) makes me feel. To live a life empty of this love is a tragedy for me. As I continue to wait, I never know whether to grow bolder or more humble about asking for my great commission. I am ready anytime for the change it will bring.
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