"To experience joy as a parent
you must be free of ambition;
for yourself
and for your children.
Ambition stiffens the muscles
and makes the spirit brittle.
You cannot move with ease
in the winds of change.
But if you release ambition
you can use all of life,
good and bad,
as fuel for the fires of joy.
Because you demand nothing
you have everything,
as do your children.
Do you have ambitions,
hidden or not so hidden,
for yourself or for your children?
Are they reasonable?
What will happen if they are not achieved?
The adolescent years
are filled with discouragement.
Children often compare themselves
to impossible standards
of achievement, beauty, and popularity.
Don't encourage these comparisons.
Encourage joy."
Perhaps the wisest and bravest thing I have ever done is let go of my ambitions. I was expected, and indeed encouraged, to have them--even as early bereavements ravaged my adolescence with discouragement, fear, and pain I continue to feel to this day. The biggest part of my healing has been laying to rest my ambitions. As I have done so, new dreams, visions, goals have unfurled. I recognize now that they are not mine, but they are the gifts of the life I have been given to lead. From this recognition, I take the most joy. It is this recognition and awareness I can bequeath my daughter. I am grateful to have something so profound from my own learning to offer her.
you must be free of ambition;
for yourself
and for your children.
Ambition stiffens the muscles
and makes the spirit brittle.
You cannot move with ease
in the winds of change.
But if you release ambition
you can use all of life,
good and bad,
as fuel for the fires of joy.
Because you demand nothing
you have everything,
as do your children.
Do you have ambitions,
hidden or not so hidden,
for yourself or for your children?
Are they reasonable?
What will happen if they are not achieved?
The adolescent years
are filled with discouragement.
Children often compare themselves
to impossible standards
of achievement, beauty, and popularity.
Don't encourage these comparisons.
Encourage joy."
Perhaps the wisest and bravest thing I have ever done is let go of my ambitions. I was expected, and indeed encouraged, to have them--even as early bereavements ravaged my adolescence with discouragement, fear, and pain I continue to feel to this day. The biggest part of my healing has been laying to rest my ambitions. As I have done so, new dreams, visions, goals have unfurled. I recognize now that they are not mine, but they are the gifts of the life I have been given to lead. From this recognition, I take the most joy. It is this recognition and awareness I can bequeath my daughter. I am grateful to have something so profound from my own learning to offer her.
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