"Be careful of rules for your children.
Rules diminish responsibility.
Be careful of rewards for your children.
Rewards diminish self-esteem.
Be careful of punishments for your children.
Punishments diminish trust.
Let lessons be imposed
by the nature of things,
not by your own agendas
or your own needs.
Integrity will replace rules.
Contentment will replace striving.
Spirituality will replace religion.
Songs will replace arguments.
Dances will replace battles.
Don't tell me this is overly simple.
Perhaps the most courageous act
of any parent's life
will be that moment
when, even though it breaks your heart,
you stand aside
and let your children
take the natural consequences
of their actions."
I think sometimes that the best way I can be an effective example for my children is to show them how to observe the natural consequences of their actions, and teach them how to respond accordingly. The purpose of whatever rules, rewards, punishments, or agendas I may set (or we may set together) is only to reinforce all of that--by making sure my children understand whatever consequences befall them. In my own life I have found that understanding brings integrity, contentment and--beyond mere religion or spirituality--deep faith, including, and perhaps most importantly, in myself. If I can model this for my children I will have left them a legacy that not only allows but also encourages them to rise to every occasion, whatever its nature may be.
Rules diminish responsibility.
Be careful of rewards for your children.
Rewards diminish self-esteem.
Be careful of punishments for your children.
Punishments diminish trust.
Let lessons be imposed
by the nature of things,
not by your own agendas
or your own needs.
Integrity will replace rules.
Contentment will replace striving.
Spirituality will replace religion.
Songs will replace arguments.
Dances will replace battles.
Don't tell me this is overly simple.
Perhaps the most courageous act
of any parent's life
will be that moment
when, even though it breaks your heart,
you stand aside
and let your children
take the natural consequences
of their actions."
I think sometimes that the best way I can be an effective example for my children is to show them how to observe the natural consequences of their actions, and teach them how to respond accordingly. The purpose of whatever rules, rewards, punishments, or agendas I may set (or we may set together) is only to reinforce all of that--by making sure my children understand whatever consequences befall them. In my own life I have found that understanding brings integrity, contentment and--beyond mere religion or spirituality--deep faith, including, and perhaps most importantly, in myself. If I can model this for my children I will have left them a legacy that not only allows but also encourages them to rise to every occasion, whatever its nature may be.
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