79. Refuse to Level Blame

 "Parents of the Tao

refuse to level blame.

They watch the evening news

without complaining.

They observe the failures of others

and never gloat.

When their children

let them down

they remain serene.

They fulfill their own duties

and never worry about others.

There is never a need to blame our children

for anything.

We can, of course, correct them.

We can guide them gently

and with wisdom.

But blaming our children

for their faults

is not the only problem.

Monitor your conversations

for a seven day period.

Make a note each time

that you complain or blame

concerning anything.

Your children listen.

Are they learning to blame others,

or take constructive action?"

I am grateful to my parents for teaching me to take responsibility for my actions and choices. One thing I wish they had done a better job of modeling or communicating to me is how to distinguish between what I do and do not have control over. The biggest thing I am learning as a parent now is how little actually falls into the former category. Oddly, this makes me feel more at ease. Life becomes about doing what I can, and respecting myself and others enough to recognize my own limitations. Hopefully this will equip me to help my daughter take a realistic view of her own.