75. Space and Time

 "If parents are always intruding

into the world of their children,

the children will lose their independent spirit.

If parents impose rule after rule

on the behavior of their children,

the children will lose their self-confidence.

Keep your children safe,

but do not be afraid

to leave them alone.

I once heard a child counselor say,

'You can never spend too much time

with your children.'

Yes, you can.

Children need, of course,

the assurance of your presence.

But they also need,

at every age,

plenty of space to play the games,

to imagine the futures,

and to dream the dreams

of childhood.

Too much time spent together

may be serving your needs,

not theirs."

I love watching my daughter play independently. I love playing with her, too, but when she engages in an activity, with a toy or book, by herself, it's a breath of fresh air. As for self-confidence, I never had much; as for my independent spirit, I never felt very entitled to it (even though I realize now I absolutely was, and am.) More than anything I want my daughter to know I trust her, and respect her. I love who she is, and as I witness her growth into herself, I can only keep growing into myself, too.