"You do not know the true origin of your children.
You call them yours
but they belong to a greater Mystery.
You do not know the name of this Mystery,
but it is the true Mother and Father of your
children.
At birth your children are filled with possibilities.
It is not your job to limit these possibilities.
Do not say, 'This and that are possible for you.
These other things are not.'
They will discover on their own what is and is not
possible.
It is your job to help them stay open
to the marvelous mysteries of life.
It may be interesting to ask,
'What limitations have I, unthinking,
taken upon myself?'
It is very difficult for your child's horizons
to be greater than your own.
Do something today that pushes
against your own preconceptions.
Then take your child's hand
and gently encourage her to do the same."
For me being disabled has meant knowing my limitations--or at least knowing which ones had been imposed on me by others--before I knew myself. This was the single greatest threat to my self-concept, the biggest thief of self-worth, self-respect, and self-determination. Fortunately as I grew up I learned to repair these things, and of course some of that work is still in progress. In becoming a parent I am determined for my daughter to have a more authentic experience; the fact that she isn't presenting as disabled at all now may make that easier. But my husband and I talk often about the differences in how we each were raised, and wanting to strike the right balance. Where I was "helicopter-parented," his folks were quite permissive. Where I want to give our daughter more freedom, he wants to give more guidance and be firm. In raising her I think it only right that her horizons should be broader than ours were, and that our own self-concepts should be challenged and refined through our relationships with her.
You call them yours
but they belong to a greater Mystery.
You do not know the name of this Mystery,
but it is the true Mother and Father of your
children.
At birth your children are filled with possibilities.
It is not your job to limit these possibilities.
Do not say, 'This and that are possible for you.
These other things are not.'
They will discover on their own what is and is not
possible.
It is your job to help them stay open
to the marvelous mysteries of life.
It may be interesting to ask,
'What limitations have I, unthinking,
taken upon myself?'
It is very difficult for your child's horizons
to be greater than your own.
Do something today that pushes
against your own preconceptions.
Then take your child's hand
and gently encourage her to do the same."
For me being disabled has meant knowing my limitations--or at least knowing which ones had been imposed on me by others--before I knew myself. This was the single greatest threat to my self-concept, the biggest thief of self-worth, self-respect, and self-determination. Fortunately as I grew up I learned to repair these things, and of course some of that work is still in progress. In becoming a parent I am determined for my daughter to have a more authentic experience; the fact that she isn't presenting as disabled at all now may make that easier. But my husband and I talk often about the differences in how we each were raised, and wanting to strike the right balance. Where I was "helicopter-parented," his folks were quite permissive. Where I want to give our daughter more freedom, he wants to give more guidance and be firm. In raising her I think it only right that her horizons should be broader than ours were, and that our own self-concepts should be challenged and refined through our relationships with her.
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