"If you always compare your children's abilities
to those of great athletes, entertainers, and
celebrities,
they will lose their own power.
If you urge them to acquire and achieve,
they will learn to cheat and steal
to meet your expectations.
Encourage your children's deepest joys,
not their superficial desires.
Praise their patience,
not their ambition.
Do not value the distractions and diversions
that masquerade as success.
They will learn to hear their own voice
instead of the noise of the crowd.
If you teach them to achieve
they will never be content.
If you teach them contentment,
they will naturally achieve everything.
We all want our children to be happy.
Somehow, some way today
show them something that makes you happy,
something you truly enjoy.
Your own happiness is contagious.
They learn the art from you."
My daughter is a happy baby. I was not. I am learning joy from her, and in reflecting it, can model it. At least, this is what I hope for. Raised to achieve, I did not learn to do or enjoy things for their own sake. I believe I am learning that now through the process of parenting, having been given to understand that having a child is not an achievement, but a gift. It's not that I have never enjoyed another task--I work hard in everything I do, and enjoy that deeply. But underneath it all is the pursuit of excellence, which is rooted in shame rather than joy. I want to show my daughter that she is the gift, so that she learns to give naturally and with the confidence that begets true humility.
to those of great athletes, entertainers, and
celebrities,
they will lose their own power.
If you urge them to acquire and achieve,
they will learn to cheat and steal
to meet your expectations.
Encourage your children's deepest joys,
not their superficial desires.
Praise their patience,
not their ambition.
Do not value the distractions and diversions
that masquerade as success.
They will learn to hear their own voice
instead of the noise of the crowd.
If you teach them to achieve
they will never be content.
If you teach them contentment,
they will naturally achieve everything.
We all want our children to be happy.
Somehow, some way today
show them something that makes you happy,
something you truly enjoy.
Your own happiness is contagious.
They learn the art from you."
My daughter is a happy baby. I was not. I am learning joy from her, and in reflecting it, can model it. At least, this is what I hope for. Raised to achieve, I did not learn to do or enjoy things for their own sake. I believe I am learning that now through the process of parenting, having been given to understand that having a child is not an achievement, but a gift. It's not that I have never enjoyed another task--I work hard in everything I do, and enjoy that deeply. But underneath it all is the pursuit of excellence, which is rooted in shame rather than joy. I want to show my daughter that she is the gift, so that she learns to give naturally and with the confidence that begets true humility.
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